Quiet and Soft

Here I lay, staring up at the ceiling and searching
Sifting through my contents to fish out something that will make it all okay
Cure the heaviness and the lame
I rustle about
But nothing comes

I want to hurt
Again and again
Until I stop laughing nervously
Until I drain all of the black
The venom
I'm sick of smiling

So here I remain

Sometimes I let my imagination take hold
And conjure somebody
Anybody
Quiet and soft
To lay with me
Staring up at the same ceiling
With nothing to say
Just un-burdened breathing
And lights in their eyes
Like I'm somebody worth hearing
Not meat
Destined to bleed

I won't cry
Because I can't