Manhood is Complicated 7/23/16

    Manhood is a topic people only ever want to bring up when they're pointing a finger and denouncing it. People want to shame and degrade men worldwide whilst never looking in a mirror and realizing that not just men are the problem. And not just women need help. Everybody is a victim of life. This does not stop or start at the tail of an X or Y chromosome. I fully am behind the current focus on women. It does not impose that women's problems are bigger than men's, only that the world is taking things one step at a time (while multitasking is ideal but unlikely). But to say, as many do, that men's problems are nonexistent is borderline irredeemably stupid. Leave that "check your privilege" trash at the door.

For starters (like all those copy+paste poets): if you are a woman and think I'm exaggerating the trials men face, congratulations you are part of the problem.

And to carry on,

    Men are in a tough catch 22 just as much as any woman, no more no less.
Boys are much more likely to commit suicide than girls.
They are not allowed to show their emotions.
They do not have outlets.
They cannot be loving to their parents.
They do not receive understanding.
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused.
They should have known better.
They are at fault for all of their shortcomings or misfortune.
They must be aggressive.
They do not get to think or weigh their options, only to act.
They can't be depressed or tired or weak.
They must take their beatings like men.
The abuse, the neglect, sexual or physical, all of it.
Their faults are met with reprimand and their questions with shame.
To ask a question is to be an idiot.
Boys are just bad children, not misunderstood.
When men make bad choices they're wicked, man-children.
When girls mess up, it's simply a mistake.
We are to have six packs and be buff for the girls.
But like a girl for her personality.
We have to be athletic specimen with infinite intelligence who can both womanize
But also have hearts of gold
It's all a set up.
Men are set up to fail
Just like women aren't pressed to succeed.
The mold is far too hard to maintain and too easy to break as it keeps changing
And everybody is at fault.

I don't pay too much attention at poetry readings anymore because none of this seems to make it to the mic.

Women are not told to "woman up" because they understand it's stupid and dehumanizing. And yet we have everyone, our mothers, teachers, cousins, friends, strangers, men and women all telling us to be men. And upholding these expectations that are innumerable and forced into you down to the cellular level. It's incredibly destructive, not to mention wildly confusing. It is for this reason that when somebody tells me to be a man, or the difference between a boy and a man to me, my anger spikes. Especially when you have not worn my chains or been inside my head.

If you are not quoting the bible, you have no claim to such wisdom. And to give yourself that sort of claim to my life without that prerequisite, especially if you are not a man, negates my ability to hear you.

I had been thinking about this for quite some time, but after the events of the last few days, and finally having the time to get it all down, it's just now being typed up. I felt the need to be out with this because it was taking up too much space in my head and quite frankly, around some of my buddies back home, this conversation will never be had. With the role I fulfill, I have never found a suitable time to dive into this can of worms. Or maybe I'm just too picky. But it's something that needed to be said. People are becoming more aware and accepting of this concept now, but still not enough. It's not just women, or men, who have work to do.

We all have work to do.

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