Just Making Noise

 I've only read half of the books that sit on my desk but if you think I'd ever want to part form them, you'd be sadly mistaken. Without reading a single word they've still been around longer than many of the friends I see these days. I find sticky notes and old bookmarks inside of them like time-capsules from eras so long ago that I can't recognize the perspective they sprouted from. I had, and still have, a bad habit of starting and stopping things. Shout out to every other teenager that wanted so badly to be mysterious and well-read, but instead picked up a ball or hopped into yet another COD lobby to talk trash to people we haven't seen since he 4th grade... A world where everyone had already had sex with my mom. Or, don't forget that I was adopted, my internet was equated to a toaster and anytime you lose the match, you are absolutely encouraged to kill yourself. 

Today I started a new job selling solar power in the less glamorous way, but still a valid one. I make appointments and go door to door with finely filtered prospects. As a closeted introvert, I absolutely hate this dynamic but I'm trying to approach the opportunity as more of a scientific one. Even today, after knocking only 5 doors I have seen qualities of mine that I didn't know were so strong. Imagine, I can get close-lined in a rugby game and jump 40 feet off of a doc, but something about asking someone else to give me 3 minutes of their time just feels... Rough! I mean hey, the service I'm pedaling is a great one- we're creating a way for homeowners to not only save money but also preserve the world and yet I still get totally blindsided when they open the door and can only speak Tagalog or only have on a precariously short bathrobe. Who knows. I can make strangers laugh, but time will soon tell if I can make them value me and my time. Shi-et.... I don't give half a damn most of the time either, so I can't blame them! Sometimes I do shit just because I can. And sometimes I don't do things for the very same [lack of] a reason. It is nothing short of lovely.


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