I've only read half of the books that sit on my desk but if you think I'd ever want to part form them, you'd be sadly mistaken. Without reading a single word they've still been around longer than many of the friends I see these days. I find sticky notes and old bookmarks inside of them like time-capsules from eras so long ago that I can't recognize the perspective they sprouted from. I had, and still have, a bad habit of starting and stopping things. Shout out to every other teenager that wanted so badly to be mysterious and well-read, but instead picked up a ball or hopped into yet another COD lobby to talk trash to people we haven't seen since he 4th grade... A world where everyone had already had sex with my mom. Or, don't forget that I was adopted, my internet was equated to a toaster and anytime you lose the match, you are absolutely encouraged to kill yourself.
Today I started a new job selling solar power in the less glamorous way, but still a valid one. I make appointments and go door to door with finely filtered prospects. As a closeted introvert, I absolutely hate this dynamic but I'm trying to approach the opportunity as more of a scientific one. Even today, after knocking only 5 doors I have seen qualities of mine that I didn't know were so strong. Imagine, I can get close-lined in a rugby game and jump 40 feet off of a doc, but something about asking someone else to give me 3 minutes of their time just feels... Rough! I mean hey, the service I'm pedaling is a great one- we're creating a way for homeowners to not only save money but also preserve the world and yet I still get totally blindsided when they open the door and can only speak Tagalog or only have on a precariously short bathrobe. Who knows. I can make strangers laugh, but time will soon tell if I can make them value me and my time. Shi-et.... I don't give half a damn most of the time either, so I can't blame them! Sometimes I do shit just because I can. And sometimes I don't do things for the very same [lack of] a reason. It is nothing short of lovely.
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