Icarus

People always stress so much about how they handled things in retrospect. Why? What can you ever do after the message is sent or the deed is done?

Enjoy where you are and know that the golden days aren’t all behind you. Joy will remain like a last-ditch phone call to mom, whereas happiness is a bit more fickle.

Already at this point in my life I see the value of self-punishment (zero) and suffering alone (zero). But what comes with life experience, or age if you’re not quite as daring, is acknowledging how truly valuable it is to allow yourself to blunder but smile all the same. Sometimes we truly take life too seriously in all the wrong ways. I thought I was “in the know” years ago but only now have I truly understood it down to the marrow. I urge others to do the same and reap its benefits.

Because life is truly so good.

Seeing ex’s with new partners will WWE choke-slam you into the past as it probably should, making you re-think every time you could’ve worded an apology better or been a better fit... but what I think it comes to is: Did you give it your all? Yes? Then you did the best you could with what you had and you should feel proud that it was real. You were firing on all cylinders and it wasn’t what they wanted. That doesn’t mean it “wasn’t enough”, just not what they wanted. That’s all the closure you can really ask for sometimes so saddle up bud, adventure awaits.

And what if you didn’t? Don’t waste your days regretting it all—there is a reason why you didn’t and that should lead you to the same bare-hearted closure as option one. It’s okay, my friend. You will learn. Be mindful, not obsessive and hop to that next “great beyond.”

Find that person, place or thing that burns you and say thank you. To your God, to them, to Life… You name it. Because those things are broken, faulty vessels too, each navigating their own epic voyages. AGAIN, often times you will not get the apology you seek. Sucks to suck, but the sun shines bright even above hurricane wall-clouds. Make that same scientific fact true for your own outlook on life and you’ll have discovered joy again, my friend.

Gratitude is a well of peace in your heart that is up to you to tap into. In the hardest, widest gaping wounds I was taught by my “no foolishness” grandmother to jam in the NeoSporin and call out in thankfulness. And it has made all the difference. Every time I do so, thumb twisting like the dagger it removed, I am reduced to tears and set free.

“Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy”

The reason is simple. I am not thanking it all because I indulge in the pain. I am not a masochist parading as a guru. Instead, I’m aware of the score. I felt loss, because I had something valuable to lose in the first place. I felt heartbroken because I was able to open it wide to be shared. I feel pain because I was close enough to taste and touch the very things that make life worth living.  

And I feel joy because tomorrow is a new day that could bring me one step closer to tasting heaven again.