Hey Uncle, I told my students about you yesterday. The trial we’d all like
to forget just as well as immortalize. It’s so weird how even after all this
time it’s still so impactful to me. But why wouldn’t it be? That was something
much bigger than street beef and black-on-black crime... Bigger than senseless
violence and gang affiliations. That trial was about reminding the entire state
of Oklahoma of an important lesson: everybody could stand to be forgiven. No
sin is ever too big and no bridge too far.
I don’t think it was some big discovery for my students that they should
forgive and forgive quickly. I doubt it will last more than a moment in their
minds… today. That wasn’t the goal. The goal is to build toward the day days,
months or years from now that seem insurmountable. The pain and the wrongdoing,
only to have this little story about a life taken too soon and a father with
outstretched arms come bubbling up. If a man can hug his son’s assailant,
surely that pouting friend or errant rude text isn’t as heavy as we sometimes
think.
I went to bed early that night.
Morning came and I laid in bed singing pretty songs. I felt tired and dirty (as a person, not physically) but I couldn’t figure out why, so the songs helped. I would’ve just stayed inside of the pleasant dream I was having (pretty sure I was just talking with old friends in some house that my dream implied was mine) but that wasn’t working with all the phone alarms going off both in my apartment and those of others around me. I grabbed my phone, tapped “Human Nature” by Michael Jackson and let it run. Then it was some Daniel Caesar until I checked the phone mid flat-note and realized it was about time for me to leave. Rain had just finished falling but I brought my umbrella anyway.
The train to the immigration office runs on a 20 minute interval that I
missed by a matter of paces, so I sat down on my phone and messaged my
girlfriend. I haven’t been able to talk to her very much these days but it
doesn’t bother me- I know she’s off having lots of fun and letting her roots
set in.
The train was hot so I removed my sweater only to put it back on and break
out the umbrella at the top of the escalator out of the subway station. I wasn’t
expecting such a drastic temperature change but storms can do that. Rain flew
sideways astride gale force winds and forced those walking the streets to
retreat under awnings like mice from a pantry light. Only street vendors seemed
unfazed. They’re not worried about appearances, after all- they’re there to
make money.
With the extra time I had before my appointment I tried out a new restaurant.
At first the woman said no because they don’t serve less than parties of two,
but I insisted that I’d be fine with the amount of food. I ordered a dish that
had this written beside it “(2~3)”
I won that wager. “2-3” people my left cheek.
Unfortunately I got stew all over my paperwork for alien registration, but the people at the immigration office did not give half a crap so it worked out fine. I think I saw two employees smile in my entire time there and one of them might’ve actually just been a volunteer. It would appear to me that having a government job just does that to people (suddenly I’m a microscopic bit less critical of the DMV back home).
I took my time getting to work afterward. I swiped away at some stew stains on my clothes, used my bathroom because it actually has toilet paper and strolled in to work.
Hopefully the shift goes by painlessly, Tuesdays are supposed to be my easy days.
Update: it did. I’m forcing myself to go to the gym tonight because I want to achieve a full on transformation by the time my homies stateside see me, so taking too much time off won’t be conducive to that goal. But I also want to make sure I have time to play my new videogame… Oh man I’m in trouble. I enjoy this game a bit too much. I’m becoming “that guy”. Pray for me. It will require the selfless nudge of an almighty God to curb this urge to become a total shut-in. That and some new gym tunes.
Life is dope
God is a cool guy
And I'm a'ight
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