A puppy kissed my ankles as I walked by today, so I bent over and said hi. The weather was wonderful. I progressed as a teacher today. My kids grew respect for me today. I made them smile. With no outside influence, my boss brought in my favorite snack for the whole staff to enjoy. I have my parents and a lovely girl to pray for me. My friends reached out to me yesterday and made me laugh. I got to hop on the phone with my mom, aunt and grandmother. I made them laugh- a lot at that. Something about that joy I received was unexpected and I found myself fighting back a flash of tears. I couldn't understand it at the moment, but it makes a little more sense after this afternoon. I even have the simple distraction of a new videogame to immerse myself in.
Even when I'm at my worst, my faith doesn't waiver (I can't explain it, but I don't like to question blessings when they come). God was with me before I did what I did, and in some ways he used the incident to remind me of the relationship that we have, that even I had started to downplay or take for granted. My prayer life and adherence to his teaching has been surprisingly good considering not going to church, but I didn't know it was that good. And that, on it's own, is a blessing too.
It's kind of funny, but I'm at my best when I'm at my worst. It was a lovely reminder that rock-bottom moments are also moments of relief and freedom. When big things happen, the world starts to slow down... It's like all of a sudden your senses heighten and only the absolutely pertinent information gets your attention, everything else blurs.
I will never understand the complexity of God's love, or how after this afternoon I felt both empty and forgiven and beautiful at the same time. But holy crap is it wonderful to feel something like that again.
I found rest in my soul today.
Because God is so great
Life is so good
And I never stay down for long
Even when I'm at my worst, my faith doesn't waiver (I can't explain it, but I don't like to question blessings when they come). God was with me before I did what I did, and in some ways he used the incident to remind me of the relationship that we have, that even I had started to downplay or take for granted. My prayer life and adherence to his teaching has been surprisingly good considering not going to church, but I didn't know it was that good. And that, on it's own, is a blessing too.
It's kind of funny, but I'm at my best when I'm at my worst. It was a lovely reminder that rock-bottom moments are also moments of relief and freedom. When big things happen, the world starts to slow down... It's like all of a sudden your senses heighten and only the absolutely pertinent information gets your attention, everything else blurs.
I will never understand the complexity of God's love, or how after this afternoon I felt both empty and forgiven and beautiful at the same time. But holy crap is it wonderful to feel something like that again.
I found rest in my soul today.
Because God is so great
Life is so good
And I never stay down for long
Comments
Post a Comment