I just want to be real for a second and tell it like it is. I am going to miss you guys (aka my goons, my brothers, etc.) more than I probably realize. Because you guys have been here through everything.
Little background- my college career was not without tragedy or hardship. I've lost some friends well before their time, and had issues like anybody else. But to be forthcoming, I picked through some repressed memories from my childhood and a lot of rough stuff came out that set me on a downward spiral. I resorted to self-harm and my depression hit harder than ever before. All that while the rugby team was experiencing some coaching changes and you guys saw me through everything. There is no way anybody could have known of my troubles because I wouldn't let anyone-- I lived my whole life forcing myself through tough situations and never letting myself take a day off from being "level-headed" or "happy". In my head, you guys didn't need me to be real, you guys needed "Jon Lucas", this character I'd built up. You guys can tell, I'm sure, when that facade would slip up. Coaches only knew my crap because I had to explain why I was missing practices and not acting the same... And it was because some days I was too out of my head to leave my bed, or I had counseling sessions. I was raped by another kid when I was 10 years old and I had no idea how much it messed me up, because as we all know, hindsight is 20/20. I have "severe depression" or whatever, but who has time for that? Believe it or not, I leaned on our staff and found strength in them. I leaned on my teammates, you guys, through the hardships even when I didn't want to because I was surrounded by guys who believed in me and would march into war with me without a seconds notice-- not knowing I was already fighting a couple wars under the radar. It meant the world to me then, and it still means the world to me now as I continue to deal with my crap.
When I joined the team as a freshman, there was no way I could've known not only how much it would define my life, but also all the beautiful friendships and memories that would come to be blessings moving forward. I cannot even begin to thank all of you enough. This organization, this team, this brotherhood, it means everything to me. Singing Illegal Smile after that last match in Kansas was one of the hardest things I ever had to do- because it was the last time I would ever be able to wear that OU jersey with my ride-or-die brothers all around me. It was a culmination of every late-night workout, missed family event, personal sacrifice, ripped ligament, road-trip, life lesson and emotional victory all at once. It all flashed before my eyes while we screamed through that bar song in the cold. I'd do it all again if I could.
Thank you coaches, team managers, trainers, parents, everyone... Thank all of you who I've had the pleasure to play alongside and even lead. I have nothing but love for you all.
Boomer.
Little background- my college career was not without tragedy or hardship. I've lost some friends well before their time, and had issues like anybody else. But to be forthcoming, I picked through some repressed memories from my childhood and a lot of rough stuff came out that set me on a downward spiral. I resorted to self-harm and my depression hit harder than ever before. All that while the rugby team was experiencing some coaching changes and you guys saw me through everything. There is no way anybody could have known of my troubles because I wouldn't let anyone-- I lived my whole life forcing myself through tough situations and never letting myself take a day off from being "level-headed" or "happy". In my head, you guys didn't need me to be real, you guys needed "Jon Lucas", this character I'd built up. You guys can tell, I'm sure, when that facade would slip up. Coaches only knew my crap because I had to explain why I was missing practices and not acting the same... And it was because some days I was too out of my head to leave my bed, or I had counseling sessions. I was raped by another kid when I was 10 years old and I had no idea how much it messed me up, because as we all know, hindsight is 20/20. I have "severe depression" or whatever, but who has time for that? Believe it or not, I leaned on our staff and found strength in them. I leaned on my teammates, you guys, through the hardships even when I didn't want to because I was surrounded by guys who believed in me and would march into war with me without a seconds notice-- not knowing I was already fighting a couple wars under the radar. It meant the world to me then, and it still means the world to me now as I continue to deal with my crap.
When I joined the team as a freshman, there was no way I could've known not only how much it would define my life, but also all the beautiful friendships and memories that would come to be blessings moving forward. I cannot even begin to thank all of you enough. This organization, this team, this brotherhood, it means everything to me. Singing Illegal Smile after that last match in Kansas was one of the hardest things I ever had to do- because it was the last time I would ever be able to wear that OU jersey with my ride-or-die brothers all around me. It was a culmination of every late-night workout, missed family event, personal sacrifice, ripped ligament, road-trip, life lesson and emotional victory all at once. It all flashed before my eyes while we screamed through that bar song in the cold. I'd do it all again if I could.
Thank you coaches, team managers, trainers, parents, everyone... Thank all of you who I've had the pleasure to play alongside and even lead. I have nothing but love for you all.
Boomer.
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