PSA: for the first time in a while, ya boi is "on top of his shit". My grades are looking up, rugby has been working much more smoothly, and work isn't half as daunting as it used to be. I always knew that once I made it past that first wave of the year that rugby would taper off and I was right. The paperwork is all in and the numbers that used to blow up my phone constantly have been AWOL for longer than I can remember. My biggest task with rugby now is to recruit. We started doing morning workouts 4 days a week as supplements to add to our current workout regimen and practice schedule. So that means I spend at a minimum 8-9 hours in the gym each week. Then add on top of that I make it to practices a week... I'm running a whole lot. For whatever reason God is keeping my body strong through all of this because my stress fractures etc. have been only coming back slowly, but I know full well that by February my dogs will be barkin'. I've lost a lot of fat off of my core and legs- the aesthetic changes worried me at first but I've come to like them. My weight is still healthy and increasing, albeit slowly. It also helps that a lovely little freshman has been hooking me up with swipes at the cafeteria a couple times a week.
As of this past Sunday, on top of all the other responsibilities I have, I am dumb and decided to take up being a head coach for a local middle school rugby league. Recruiting has been moving along slowly and I can only hope that their games do not collide with my schedule, but I look forward to sharing my passion with these kids. As of right now, I've carved out two spaces in my week for us to practice and the "curriculum" is coming along well. Let's hope I can influence these kids the way I had always wanted a coach to influence me.
I've spent a lot of time alone these days. And I mean, A LOT of time alone. When I come home, I can sense when one of my roommates are home and I find myself retreating to my room instead of saying hi- through no fault of their own. I go to restaurants and eat out in tucked away booths that face windows. My workouts are at random times so that I don't have to run into the same people too often. Post practice I hoof it back to my house with sound-blocking headphones locked in tight. I don't really see people and faces, I see shapes and lights just haplessly passing by. I wake long before the city has and fall asleep well after. In most classes I do not open my mouth even once. Believe it or not, I'm back to opting for my bed instead of indulging a friend wanting to hang out. I don't text, and I don't use my social media much. Which is weird because I've made plenty of new friends against those odds, but I'll be surprised if I can maintain them (I say that while smirking and shaking my head). I'm not sad, and I'm not calling for attention from anyone. It's like I just don't... want for anything or anyone in particular right now. Like somehow after weeks of the total opposite, I've defaulted ( a metaphor I've used in the past) and flipped 180.
Songs I've been playing a lot lately:
Beyonce Ft. Drake- Mine
Hundred Waters Ft. Chance the Rapper- Show Me Love
Bombay Bicycle Club- Ghost
Leessang- Girl Who Can't Break Up, Man Who Can't Leave
Frank Ocean- Nights
Daniel Caesar- Hold Me Down
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