I saw a tweet today that said "can you describe why you love a woman and not talk about the things she does for you or the things you put her through?" It was aimed at pinpointing a fault in men and saying that they value more so the woman complimenting his own lifestyle, to fulfill his selfishness, rather than talk about her own stand alone accomplishments. And while I get what they were getting at, I found it very... well, wrong. That's not how love works. For starters, they're confusing respect or admiration for love.
Why do people form lines to tell others not to cast judgement on people for differing, or who they love, but then turn around and tell them that they're loving incorrectly? That their basis is unfounded?
Forget the "man vs woman" foolishness, its bigger than that. People love people for many, many reasons. Why does self sacrifice, or being the others' emotional rock during the rough patches of life equate to being disrespected as an individual, or being subservient? In my book, the greatest and truest form of love is denying oneself to better the life of another. It is more rare and also more admirable than any other trait in this life.
When going through the "postmortem" of my relationships past, the most common theme as to why they loved me was not because of my accolades in academics or rugby. It wasn't my leadership or forgiving tendencies. It was ultimately my self-sacrifice and the things "they put me through" to love them and the things I did to show it.
When men love on their lovers for being their rock or loving them despite their faults, for all to hear and see, it is the equivalent of them calling women the champions of their hearts. Heroes within their lives. And who are we to demean that man for proclaiming such a thing? My girlfriend has stuck with me through the worst part of my life to date, and if I didn't mention how truly profound that is, I would be doing her a disservice. The same goes for her. When she inevitably wins some crazy award or talks about our relationship as a whole to another, she would be sure to tell them that I had a hand in her growth and quality of life through the rough patches because it means something. Man or woman, dog or cat, soldier or civilian, self sacrifice means something.
Mothers and fathers are praised, immortalized and turned into screenplays for their ability to sacrifice for the ones they love. And I pray that the one I someday marry will look at me and ask herself how she would've ever made it without me. You know... like of course she could have, but she wouldn't want to. And I pray that the woman across from me, slipping a ring on my finger will garner the same thoughts and all-consuming emotion out of me.
x
Comments
Post a Comment