Once again the winds that wrestle flower petals from their homes carry yet another friend, tearful but happy into the future I can only now be audience to. Just this past weekend I went to the ballet dancers' end of the year party and could feel that light, fluttery, bittersweet tug of the heart that goodbyes always bring. It almost makes you curse the beautiful sunsets and warm afternoons- because to feel happy in these times is to make oneself open to the change that is coming. I've never been one to turtle within myself when these transitions in life come. But I do feel them quite vividly. I see it in the hesitance of others that echo through me.
The party was rowdy and loud, just as tradition would have intended, but there was still that feeling in the air. I showed up once all of the nostalgic videos and gift exchanges ended, just in time to catch the seniors part ways. Some of those women are part of the colorful story that is my relationship with my girlfriend. Others were a source of confidence instilled in me when I was much more vulnerable and unaware of myself in college. Many more of them were, if nothing else, one heck of a good time- and I'll remember them all. My girl wanted to stay as long as possible, and I was tired, but I could feel what she was feeling and it woke in me a compassion that insisted we squeeze the night dry of any heartfelt moment or hearty laugh we could before shapeless morning and blaring alarms came.
I had a wonderful time, and love grew.
Other things I have been up to lately include:
- -Study abroad party- birthday for the homies
- one of my French teammates had a huge birthday party that started at his apartment (I had a harmonica jam session for some reason??) and migrated to the bars until the wee hours of night.
- -Plenty of late nights watching scrubs and making terrible jokes
- There was one week that my girlfriend was over for 80% of the week (as a combination of factors) and it was truly wonderful. There was plenty of passing out mid-conversation and binge-watching netflix before bed.
- -Hard stuff
- Both of my roommates dropped some heavy news on me that demanded a night out on the porch and lots of disclosure. I can't say that I know where these things are now, but I would like to believe that they are getting better.
- -The Deli
- My house and I have become regulars at this dive bar that hosts live music most nights of the week. Each visit we meet new and amazing people who speak to us both through their words and their fingers.
- -NMF
- This year nature let Norman have it, lightening and sideways buckets of downpour washed away all but Norman's hunger for live music. I was soaked through to my underwear by 11am, and stood in the brisk rain until a little past midnight. WOrht it though. I found some new artists and shook hands with so many people that reminded me how kind the world can be to you in the most understated of ways.
- -Curtains
- My friends hooked me up with a free ticket and I ended up being seated between two lovely elderly couples for the theatrical performance. Not only was the show itself hilarious, but the couples "chatted me up" in all the down time. I think I made some new friends out of those folks.
- -Senior capstones
- Before the end of the year, many contemporary and classical ballet dancers had their capstones which generally were entire shows they choreographed themselves. They were all so beautiful, allowing me to see into their minds and just enjoy a night of sharing an experience that meant something.
- -"100" Directed by Jon Yawn
- -Date night with girlfriend (BJ's)
- I tried to surprise here with a reservation at a truly fancy Italian restaurant, but she was overwhelmed so we opted for some delicious food and drinks at BJ's for a bargain, and followed up with watching the newest Guardians of the Galaxy (11/10 would recommend). She made me laugh just as much as the movie did, sitting there beside me squeezing my arm and being an absolute dweeb.
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