I think to sort of clarify from my last post, I don't have it set in my mind to make the next attempt at a relationship, or whatever I'm in, end in marriage like some 18th century bachelor. It popped into my head today, and to clarify, I think just dating with intent is the goal. Good ol' genuine intent.
Thirty or so minutes after I woke I was already exhausted, yawning my way through a cup of coffee while I sat in the hall outside my 9am class. Thankfully, the class was relatively engaging and gave the caffeine a chance to take off, but even that died down somewhere between class dismissal and the creak of the doors to the campus gym. It's odd to me that I can pop in there 3-4 times a week for months at a time and the regulars will still give me the same surprised look, as if they'd never seen shorts that short before. I didn't quite have it in me to go as heavy as usual. This was frustrating at first, but I think listening to my body and lightening up a bit was the right call.
I also felt a distinct need for God's presence to grow deeper. I mean I truly felt a need for Him and his peace today, though I had nothing to fear or labor over. I think it's a milestone for me as a Christian.
Between my workout and my next class I keep telling myself I was going to take a power nap but after today I'm 0 for 3 so I can't say I'm too confident that'll ever come along. The canned food from the canned food drive right before Thanksgiving finally got delivered today. It seems my guilt finally beat out my laziness after a hard-fought, 3 month battle. The lady was really nice when I called and even brighter when I busted through the food pantry doors with a box full of goodies. Pride for the club and men I represent washed over me when I told her "there's more where that came from"- because I knew it was true.
I couldn't focus very well in my Oil Field Development class (not to mention I felt pretty gross after resorting to Febreezing my body to mask gym stink) even when considering that the man teaching some 3 feet away from me kept meeting my eyes whenever he scanned across the room. But like Newton, an apple clonked down on my head and I decided to pay it some mind. Here's what I wrote in between the head-nods to my teacher and catching curious glances from the person beside me:
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I've got some achy knees
The sting hits me when I'm coaching from the sideline or hopping at a dance party
My edge-up isn't always quite straight
So sometimes I touch it up with a 2 year old $10 Gillette razor
My jaws don't line up the way my orthodontist would like so my smiles are irreparably goofy
By default I will be "talking out of the side of my mouth" for the rest of my life
Though I'm one of the most honest guys you'll ever meet...
(Usually)
My back is messed up and "my hips don't lie".
It makes one of my legs relatively shorter than the other and really messes with my sultry body roll.
But it also sorta gives me a leg up
If you're into puns
Call it a "backyard lobotomy", or "concussive maintenance"
But head trauma has given me a chance to reconfigure myself piece by piece,
Correcting how I handle things and giving me the unique ability to empty my head.
And I mean really empty my head.
Like, park-at-the-lake-and-stare-at-the-water-so-long-my-car-dies, empty.
As one would imagine, people typically don't enjoy this trait too much,
Especially when you don't realize they've been talking to you and freaking out about the animals...
This is not something they advertise in the safety seminars or health brochures.
I'm just about out of ligaments to tear in my ankles,
My shoulder is a silly lass who flies off her hinges whenever she so chooses,
I get neck cramps??
And my hips are about as flexible as a stick of chalk,
But this motley crew of hinges and pistons...
This rickety body...
It carries me onward just fine...
Just the way it was meant to.
So my naive soul presses on,
Like it's flooring it in the sooty cab of a rusty '67 chevy,
With no quarrel or complaint,
Waving with a crooked smile,
And happily passing onward to my next collision course -
Hoping only that God has a forgiving insurance policy.
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It's not a profound poem but I like how it made me feel as I wrote it, so for now it's one of my favorites.
Ballet was wonderful today. It was much harder than last week- my asymmetries groaning under the gentle hand of steady correction, but I loved it. I think part of it was just my attitude going in. I may have been on the brink of a cramp all of class but it created a welcome challenge. A ballet friend of mine decided to pop in for a class and it was nice having him there. Of course he showed off a little, but it was all in good fun and my professor found it to be comical. Also shout out to my tights for not ripping.
I can't tell if practice was very productive today for the newer guys, but with things as they are, the flow of our game will be quite something by Saturday. Our work rate was higher, which usually means we're making mistakes and correcting them, but instead it was due to an increase in game speed. The chemistry is really getting there. I found that when we were going through the different phases, I didn't have to think- I just sort of felt the progression naturally with my teammates as extensions of myself. I like that.
Sure getting home at 10pm is not always fun or affordable, but today I needed the time for myself. For some reason, when I pray, as I tend to do when I'm walking about, it somehow seems to pull deeper spiritually when I incorporate physical motions to accompany each prayer. So today as I prayed for the recovery of a certain person's partially torn hamstring, I spoke to God as I pictured in my head the salmon-red muscle, fibers and all, and let my hands trace the fibers from one ivory anchoring point to another, tracing my thumb from the tip of my middle finger to the center of my palm to repair the damaged areas. I know I sound like a crazy person but it's just how prayer works for me and I did it for quite a while during the walk home.
It's 2am now. I feel like I should wrap this up with something wholesome, but I'm all out of creativity and the Chips Ahoy sitting on my dresser are whispering sweet nothings into my ears.
Tune in next time, friends.
God is great,
Life is good,
And I'm feelin' pretty dandy
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