Two quick things that have been on my mind:
-We really don't have the right to tell somebody what they can or cannot be self-conscious about. Some things just are the way they are even if they seem ridiculous. Incomprehensible from the outside, the insecurity half the time comes from their own expectations for themselves, and not those of the people around them. Best you can offer, is understanding and encouragement until they break through. It's not a logic thing, it's a heart thing. People need time to sort it out.
-Asking for help doesn't mean that you couldn't do it or you're taking the easy way out. It doesn't even mean that the task at hand is a difficult one. Sometimes it just means that you wanted to get it done and get it done right. Instead of collecting scrapes and bruises until you succeed, you lock it up the first time with full confidence that you never have to double back to spot-check again. Initially, my largest push for going to counseling was to make an outward, physical, tangible show of my intention to get better for all those who loved me and knew what was going on. It really wasn't for me. I didn't then, and still don't now, think that I ever truly needed counseling. My friends back home who have known me for 10+ years confirmed this. I am fully capable to handle those demons and fight through, but there was never any question that maybe I shouldn't have to do it alone anymore. I'd already gone long enough grilling myself whilst being the shoulder for too many around me. And for once, just this once at least, I owed myself a break. That's what they told me. And it's what my caring girlfriend told me. So I did. It was not the easy choice. It left me feeling very emotionally raw constantly. But what good would it have done to let years go by and add hardship to relationships when I could cut to the chase. Like the loose ends I mentioned before, the best way to make sure I don't build myself back incorrectly, is to do so in such a way that there is no room for error. And that's why I continued to go: to make sure I stayed on track.
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