Back to the Daily's 6/14/16

So I didn't write at all this past weekend... but that's because I needed to be very present.  

    Yesterday I about died and today was no different. SO says that I'm on the brink of death 24/7 and I think she's right. I bite off more than I can chew and always just assume I'll get stronger jaws or a bigger mouth. It's a way of life, if you're a busy body you already do this, and if you're a person who isn't sure what kind of person you are, do this and you'll learn very quickly.

    My schedule Monday was from 6:30am to 9:40pm and was nothing but fun. Waking early to work the F group (we call them the "F-boys" because they're all the tweens getting their first doses of hormones and frustrations but have yet to learn how to properly cope-- so they suck a lot and don't even realize it). When you tell people you have the F boys, people actually shake their head and give you a moment of silence. It's that bad. And after a day with those jackals, I completely get it. At least in PALs I had the authority to truly put it to them and it was clear who was in charge. Not the case with these creatures. Tell them to do something and the first thing they do is say "you're not my daddy" and storm off. It's a real one-move checkmate some times as much as it sucks to admit, and you have to just sorta grin and bear it. But others, if you're like me anyway, you just tell them "shut up, I don't care", move about your business, and prepare yourself for the potential parent meeting you'll have later. I was nice to them because they'd done nothing wrong, but in their happy, beady little eyes it's an invitation to a dream world where you're a pushover and they can do whatever they want. Nah, not on my watch, I shut that down real quick. Was not in the mood. Definitely only in it for the money.

So far so good. Haven't gotten written up yet.

    The envoy of child screams and all things hectic (lightning) usurped quite the space in every child's mind when a blackout rolled through the town... Just in time to stop me from my shift letting out. That always confused me. I was never the kid to lose my mind and scream during storms. As a matter of fact, I've never been one to succumb to "mass hysteria" type situations at all... My senior year in high school a gunman was actually on campus and I went to sleep for the duration of the lock down. People took pictures and immortalized me onto the twittersphere. Got like a zillion(20) likes man.

The tweet: "You got me f*cked up. We have a gunman on campus banging on doors and this a**hole beside me is asleep"

I think I read one too many Edgar Allan Poe pieces growing up. Who's to say.

    Today wasn't quite as gruesome. I got younger (aka more malleable) kids and aside from two young girls struggling to make a choice between holding my hand or punching each other out, they obeyed my whims. My throat only hurts a little. At the end of the day one kid was particularly, or I guess incredibly, stupid. After a full day of choosing to be a pain in my butt, asking endless streams of asinine questions and refusing to obey instruction under the worst attempt at faked ignorance... He bolted during a transition period when I passed him off to another staff member and it resulted in me getting chewed out by a woman who couldn't get a grasp on reality if it fell into her hands. I mean the kid is not beyond saving, he has great qualities. Sweet even, at times. But he truly needs to meet a leather strap or two. It's the most basic and effective prescription.

    Not taking her scoldings nearly as seriously as I probably should have, I clocked out and b-lined it all over the state. This followed by a trip to the gym and I arrived home a sweaty mass ready to pass out had hunger not epi-pen-ed my bones.

    The day needs to end so I can go enjoy a few days with my girlfriend. Her food storage is always so vast and the good times keep rolling.

Ignore that last cheesy comment.



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