I didn't get as much sleep as the day definitely required. The late-afternoon inflating lump I became was a good show of that, but I made it through all of the important parts.
Divining the meanings of days like this one never quite come to me in fully comprehensible or practical ways that transfer over to normal life. They just sort of give experience and only provide advantages to future days that are identical to them.
Today was by no means a bad day, I'd just like that to be clear. It wasn't even a sad one, my cheeks aching on their edges from subconscious smiles yanking at my cheek muscles like kids fighting over a pool noodle. But I just didn't really feel all too much. It's like the painter's pallet of emotions was washed over night and the only little glob my brain left behind was yellow happiness-- though that doesn't necessarily mean that I used it. If the day was a clean canvas turned artistic work by night, the moon light shines just bright enough to show that there was plenty of white space. Again, I didn't quite feel sad or angry, I just felt little flashes of happy and filled the other time with mindless automatic functions.
I'm past the phase of kids being all too afraid of me (though many still are), and I'm sinking right down into the part where any and every kid ever thinks I am a piece of furniture. As a result of this, one kid this morning spoke of how last shift I played into the gag that one kid was a monkey who just wanted her banana (a yellow tumbling pad). I teased her by not giving it to her of course. This morning though, mom in toe (the kids run their parents half the time it seems), she decided to blurt out that I "played with my monkey" and "gave her friend a banana". To this her mother visibly shuddered and at once I began to calmly explain the game that was being played, but I do not think she cared for my honesty. I guess she just wanted to feel offended or uncomfortable that day, so I let it be. We have cameras, it's fine. As for the rest of the day, I had one kid yanking me around and reaching for things that could get me thrown in jail while others hopped on my back, lap, arms, legs and bludgeoned me with questions. I didn't mind it though.
Including but not limited to: squaring away all of my contract work days, picking up food for my family, emailing people about moving shifts around, setting up a meeting with some parents for personal training, and looking for my slippery headphones.
Apparently the newbies won't be getting paid this pay period. Which is honestly fine, I wouldn't have expected as much if the higher ups hadn't mentioned otherwise. But they did, and so while throwing off some very key dominoes in the progression I had set for this weekend, I figured I'd work something out and moved on.
My window finally fell down today and I need to temporarily fix it again because this weekend I have plans and won't be available to give it a good luck until Monday, but it's not a big deal. Normally I'd feel a pressure start to build behind my ears, but the pulses ran smooth today. My emotions (all one of them), were so tame today that nothing quite raised or lowered my heart rate, for better or worse. Actually no, Taco Cabana for dinner did. And my parents watching the CMT music awards did just enough for me to leave the room, but that's about it. But really though...Today was pretty solid again.
I think I just need to get some sleep.
Divining the meanings of days like this one never quite come to me in fully comprehensible or practical ways that transfer over to normal life. They just sort of give experience and only provide advantages to future days that are identical to them.
Today was by no means a bad day, I'd just like that to be clear. It wasn't even a sad one, my cheeks aching on their edges from subconscious smiles yanking at my cheek muscles like kids fighting over a pool noodle. But I just didn't really feel all too much. It's like the painter's pallet of emotions was washed over night and the only little glob my brain left behind was yellow happiness-- though that doesn't necessarily mean that I used it. If the day was a clean canvas turned artistic work by night, the moon light shines just bright enough to show that there was plenty of white space. Again, I didn't quite feel sad or angry, I just felt little flashes of happy and filled the other time with mindless automatic functions.
I'm past the phase of kids being all too afraid of me (though many still are), and I'm sinking right down into the part where any and every kid ever thinks I am a piece of furniture. As a result of this, one kid this morning spoke of how last shift I played into the gag that one kid was a monkey who just wanted her banana (a yellow tumbling pad). I teased her by not giving it to her of course. This morning though, mom in toe (the kids run their parents half the time it seems), she decided to blurt out that I "played with my monkey" and "gave her friend a banana". To this her mother visibly shuddered and at once I began to calmly explain the game that was being played, but I do not think she cared for my honesty. I guess she just wanted to feel offended or uncomfortable that day, so I let it be. We have cameras, it's fine. As for the rest of the day, I had one kid yanking me around and reaching for things that could get me thrown in jail while others hopped on my back, lap, arms, legs and bludgeoned me with questions. I didn't mind it though.
Including but not limited to: squaring away all of my contract work days, picking up food for my family, emailing people about moving shifts around, setting up a meeting with some parents for personal training, and looking for my slippery headphones.
Apparently the newbies won't be getting paid this pay period. Which is honestly fine, I wouldn't have expected as much if the higher ups hadn't mentioned otherwise. But they did, and so while throwing off some very key dominoes in the progression I had set for this weekend, I figured I'd work something out and moved on.
My window finally fell down today and I need to temporarily fix it again because this weekend I have plans and won't be available to give it a good luck until Monday, but it's not a big deal. Normally I'd feel a pressure start to build behind my ears, but the pulses ran smooth today. My emotions (all one of them), were so tame today that nothing quite raised or lowered my heart rate, for better or worse. Actually no, Taco Cabana for dinner did. And my parents watching the CMT music awards did just enough for me to leave the room, but that's about it. But really though...Today was pretty solid again.
I think I just need to get some sleep.
Comments
Post a Comment