Hey so I just felt it was really necessary to share this with you versus internalize it and keep it to myself because that would be to keep you in the cold on something very great you’ve done-> but I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you so much for everything that you are and choose to be. I mean really and truly, from the bottom of my odd, disfigured, far-too-honest-for-my-own-good heart.
Quick Note: I keep coming back to this small detail, but whenever you confessed to me that you really liked me, I didn’t quite say anything back and instead just offered you a shy half grin, but know that I, for the record, do really like you too despite the situation we find ourselves in and fully plan to pursue you (mindfully) in such a way that I have no regrets when you leave and enter that exciting, adventurous next chapter in your life.
This quick blurb came to mind because after campaigners some of us (R**di, A****a, Gi**i, J**n Wa*ne and myself) were talking and one way or another, we ended up transitioning toward talking about relationships… and of course they asked what I look for in a significant other and relationship as a whole and… And I realized that the more I said and the more I laid out, (as I’ve come to know you as the relationship between us has grown) that it, in the words of that Rudy Francisco poem, sounded “a lot like you”. And I’d say I’m sorry that it has ended up this way, us going to different places in our lives, but on the contrary… I couldn’t be happier or luckier. Happy in the sense that I have gotten the chance to spend nights skipping rocks out at nasty lakes and laying on my scruffy floor with you not to mention get just a piece of your time- And lucky that I ever acted on that sudden urge all those months ago and it was fruitful. So back to what I was beginning to get into earlier…
Thank you for all that you are. I’ve lived a very trying but good life full of blessings and you are among them. Especially after realizing I was sexually abused as a kid and the internal damage that caused, not to mention the damage that had already previously existed though I didn’t know it and how to this very moment I am dealing with it yet you somehow managed to remind me that I’m still human and that my cracks don’t make me a caution zone to be avoided. That I’m still here, and can still mean something to somebody in that way-- fresh and new, not damaged goods. And I mean that. Thank you for showing me so naturally everything I truly and honestly need in a relationship, not to mention just what kind of person to seek for a SO. You don’t even realize it, there’s no way that you could, but you have enriched my life in so many invaluable, and perfectly timed ways. I still remember how before all this I started to feel like I was just running on empty, but the relationship we’ve developed together has given me back that piece of myself that I’d missed for so long (since high school) that has the aptitude and capacity to give and invest myself in others. I felt so dry and empty, but now I have something to offer again.
I wanted to avoid just texting this to you, but due to circumstance it will have to suffice (I felt like something about actually hearing my voice express these things to you would be more genuine but it’s okay). But for the last, redundant time…
Thank you, _________. I’ll see you soon.
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