I'm just going to list some. Hopefully you find some of these at least half-way comical because when I get flashes of most of these things, I just bust out laughing. And it always seems to come at a time when I am, of all things, NOT supposed to be laughing.
-Went to one of my football friend's birthday get-togethers during the football season and we got sorta bored, which prompted one of my close friends to bring up his new found hobby- paper twirling. It is seriously the dumbest thing I've ever done, yet it is so entertaining. Basically, all you do is slap a piece of paper onto your palm, and whip your hand around in a figure eight as fast as you can for as long as you can. That's it. But it's just so stupid that it is entertaining because you look so spazzy doing it that it's fun for everyone. Once skilled enough one can even incorporate tricks. We even brought the hobby to the sidelines and during film during football practice... I don't know, I think it's hilarious. I just picture my dingus friend flailing his limbs back and fort with a paper in his hand.
-Every thursday, during walk through practice, we had certain traditions as middle linebackers that we'd carry out. Some were just doing chants, others were playing bowling with the feet of our special needs manager named Jordy who had an adoration for pulled pork. Anyway, one of these was to send one of our LB's out on a little pass as we transitioned from our individual drills to special teams practice. And most times it worked out pretty well and we sorta broke out on it, but one time coach got a little ambitious and through a serious route. So not being ready for it, the kid realizes he's going way too slow, picks up his speed without looking, and almost immediately eats it on the cement. The route always hooked behind the linemen that cheered us on as we finished our drills, and it was absolutely hilarious to just hear him grunt an expletive and disappear behind the linemen. So now every time I see him I always think of that.
-My football team was ten times as musical as any dancers or orchestral people I was ever involved with. We always seemed to be either in a circle killing some dumb dance to somebody's beat-boxing, or jigging to someone's freestyle, or banging on things ( conference room desks, walls, helmets etc. ) to make beats. One of these times, the song "Fuck That Bitch" ( yes, that is a song ) happened to be quite popular ( more so as a joke ), so naturally to bypass coaches rulings on cussing etc. but to have fun, we simplified the phrase/chorus of the song to "Fuh Dah Bi-". So basically one morning we're driving back from a school having just finished "Reading with the Eagles" where we on the varsity go and read to little elementary kids who absolutely idolize us ( it's a bit crazy ) but awesome. All of us filed onto the bus, and Jordy was mixed in with the crowd. Having had a particularly good time this time around, one player started to lay down a beat by way of banging on the metal bus roof and clapping, and everyone at once in a sort of hive mind like reaction started chanting "FUH DAH BI". It was absolutely terrible/hilarious. But what made it worse, is that Jordy, our pulled-pork loving friend, thought we were just saying "Bris- Ket- Meat" in a funny way. Think about that, we are all standing and bobbing and throwing our hands up and chanting essentially "Fuck That Bitch" on the way back form an elementary school, where we teach kids to be respectful and be good students, with a special needs kid who has no idea what he is saying. So wrong, but so right. Now every time anyone makes a beat even relatively close to that of the song, I picture this.
-I once went to a concert with some good company ( close friends and girlfriend at the time ) and we were all the way squeezed up to the front enjoying the show when out of nowhere these three random drunk old ladies from the bar down the street slid in right in front of us and started.... I wouldn't consider it dancing. It was the most twisted, creepy, awkward looking contorting of the body I've ever seen. The three dipped and swayed like seaweed in water in such an unsettling way I couldn't but feel my jaw drop to the floor and stand there partially in shock. I honestly think if you would've green screened them onto a background of pentagrams and gave them cultist cloaks, they would've been something out of a Steven King novel. Or maybe just Mrs. Lippy from the movie Billy Madison. If you don't know the reference, look up the scene where billy walks in on her dancing when he was supposed to be out at recess. It's hilarious. I can't help but picture it any time someone says they're awkward dancers.
-Went to one of my football friend's birthday get-togethers during the football season and we got sorta bored, which prompted one of my close friends to bring up his new found hobby- paper twirling. It is seriously the dumbest thing I've ever done, yet it is so entertaining. Basically, all you do is slap a piece of paper onto your palm, and whip your hand around in a figure eight as fast as you can for as long as you can. That's it. But it's just so stupid that it is entertaining because you look so spazzy doing it that it's fun for everyone. Once skilled enough one can even incorporate tricks. We even brought the hobby to the sidelines and during film during football practice... I don't know, I think it's hilarious. I just picture my dingus friend flailing his limbs back and fort with a paper in his hand.
-Every thursday, during walk through practice, we had certain traditions as middle linebackers that we'd carry out. Some were just doing chants, others were playing bowling with the feet of our special needs manager named Jordy who had an adoration for pulled pork. Anyway, one of these was to send one of our LB's out on a little pass as we transitioned from our individual drills to special teams practice. And most times it worked out pretty well and we sorta broke out on it, but one time coach got a little ambitious and through a serious route. So not being ready for it, the kid realizes he's going way too slow, picks up his speed without looking, and almost immediately eats it on the cement. The route always hooked behind the linemen that cheered us on as we finished our drills, and it was absolutely hilarious to just hear him grunt an expletive and disappear behind the linemen. So now every time I see him I always think of that.
-My football team was ten times as musical as any dancers or orchestral people I was ever involved with. We always seemed to be either in a circle killing some dumb dance to somebody's beat-boxing, or jigging to someone's freestyle, or banging on things ( conference room desks, walls, helmets etc. ) to make beats. One of these times, the song "Fuck That Bitch" ( yes, that is a song ) happened to be quite popular ( more so as a joke ), so naturally to bypass coaches rulings on cussing etc. but to have fun, we simplified the phrase/chorus of the song to "Fuh Dah Bi-". So basically one morning we're driving back from a school having just finished "Reading with the Eagles" where we on the varsity go and read to little elementary kids who absolutely idolize us ( it's a bit crazy ) but awesome. All of us filed onto the bus, and Jordy was mixed in with the crowd. Having had a particularly good time this time around, one player started to lay down a beat by way of banging on the metal bus roof and clapping, and everyone at once in a sort of hive mind like reaction started chanting "FUH DAH BI". It was absolutely terrible/hilarious. But what made it worse, is that Jordy, our pulled-pork loving friend, thought we were just saying "Bris- Ket- Meat" in a funny way. Think about that, we are all standing and bobbing and throwing our hands up and chanting essentially "Fuck That Bitch" on the way back form an elementary school, where we teach kids to be respectful and be good students, with a special needs kid who has no idea what he is saying. So wrong, but so right. Now every time anyone makes a beat even relatively close to that of the song, I picture this.
-I once went to a concert with some good company ( close friends and girlfriend at the time ) and we were all the way squeezed up to the front enjoying the show when out of nowhere these three random drunk old ladies from the bar down the street slid in right in front of us and started.... I wouldn't consider it dancing. It was the most twisted, creepy, awkward looking contorting of the body I've ever seen. The three dipped and swayed like seaweed in water in such an unsettling way I couldn't but feel my jaw drop to the floor and stand there partially in shock. I honestly think if you would've green screened them onto a background of pentagrams and gave them cultist cloaks, they would've been something out of a Steven King novel. Or maybe just Mrs. Lippy from the movie Billy Madison. If you don't know the reference, look up the scene where billy walks in on her dancing when he was supposed to be out at recess. It's hilarious. I can't help but picture it any time someone says they're awkward dancers.
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