My Theory On Never Forgetting People

      Since I was a tad bit more than a kumquat I'd always made a point to remember people. An obsession only growing as I got older. Names and faces and where I saw them. A sort of game I played, and given my faulty memory, one I could never win. And it would sadden me, it really would, when I'd "lose" someone. Their face or their name lost to oblivion. Why? I haven't quite figured that out yet. Maybe it was because subconsciously I felt that deep down, I'd want someone somewhere out there to do the same for me. Make sure that I'm remembered, and that people know I existed. That I did things, good things, and had a life that I made count. And a mom that I ate pot-pies with one time during a storm. Or a girl that I really liked, but never dated because I was scared. As if such things made me specially unique or warranted asking such a task of somebody. But alas, they did not. A sobering thought, that was. But with it, it drove me to come up with a solution that would put my fears to bed and even end all the reverse-psychology I had been using on myself. I developed a sort of philosophy.

     The idea is simple. With any and every person you meet, there is most always something you like about them. Or more honestly, admire about them. Even with people you quite honestly cannot stand. An aspect or trait they exude that you can't help but pick out and notice. And love, and want for yourself, and associate their face with. But what do you do with that? Well, here's the gold- you make it a part of yourself. And not just that, but you do so in their name. 

For ex.

My dance partner my junior year in Co-ed ( a collaborative dance mini production of random guys and my high school's drill team ) was a true breath of fresh air. A great friend, and chalked full of positive vibes, she marched to the beat of her own drum despite her popularity. But that wasn't what caught me- it was her gracefulness- on and off the stage. She had a certain air to her that I craved for myself deeply, and so with saying goodbye to her when she graduated, I promptly made it a point to achieve such for myself. Make that gracefulness a part of me in all that I do. Because in that way, then, I have lodged within myself a piece of her that, once truly internalized, can never be lost. So that even when one day time has worn away her image in mind, whether or not I realize it, I "remember" or celebrate her memory in the grace of my walk and demeanor. 

Another example- my 1st grade teacher Mrs. Swindell. She had a way of making every little thing you ever said seem significant in the way her eyes had a genuine glow of interest when you spoke, and the way you could see the gears turning behind them. So what did I do? I adopted such a trait to the best of my ability. Now Mrs.Swindell will forever be a part of Jon Lucas. And she is most definitely not the first. 

And the cool thing about this philosophy or style of remembrance, is that if others find these same traits in you admirable and worthy of adoption, the love you showed in remembering and internalizing others in the first place goes further. They become a part of others in a large chain reaction of healthy envy and adoration and your friends get to live on not just in you, but in others- in the way one may lift up a fork, or tilt their head, or curl the edge of their mouth in a smile, or tie their shoe. And with this, my subconscious fear of being forgotten, whether still there or not, can finally be laid to rest.